I'm Tired Of Serving...

Serving other people wears me out.

After all of the local run-ins with floods and tornadoes, I think I've heard that sentiment from many different people. I'm guilty of it too. The first day Cedar Falls was in jeopardy I went down with a high schooler from the church to sandbag the levy. After spending the afternoon down there doing all sorts of different tasks, we finished our addition to one section of the levy and people were dispersing a bit and finding new things to work on. That was when the kid I was with came up to me and said, "can we go?" He was covered in mud and sand from the wet and dirty sandbags we were passing (especially from cradling them against his body after his hands couldn't take any more). I pushed back a little before we agreed to call it a night. Truth be told, I was exhausted too.

In the days and weeks that have followed, I've seen a lot of different responses. I've been amazed by the response of people in our church. I did start noticing how a lot of people seem to be just sort of run down. Tired of being asked to help with this and that, wishing they could just catch a movie or lay in the hammock-get their summer back.

That got me thinking about how we live out our faith in these times where everyone is asking something from us? Isn't our servanthood supposed to be an every day, part of your life sort of thing? How do we teeter on the totter of filling ourselves and filling others? I know I've heard sermons and book synopses about the importance of filling your tank before you try to fill others'. It feels sort of simplified, though. I look at the apostle Paul through his letters as he seemed to work tirelessly, traveling all over the ancient world strengthening the churches, preaching, and correcting. Maybe it's just hard to get a picture of his actual lifestyle, but it seemed to fit together better--like he was fed by his service and the Holy Spirit. I always go back to his line to the Philippians, "But even if I am being poured out as a libation over the sacrifice and the offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you." Even if I'm being poured out like a libation, a drink offering...

We find references to those drink offerings throughout the Old Testament. The firstfruits of your harvest of wine or oil or whatever else ended up "wasted"-- poured out on the ground in honor of God. It always feels to me like Paul is saying, "I'm putting everything I have into you guys and even if God is just wasting me, spending me, that's okay with me."

So then, we who have been baptized with the Holy Spirit, why do we feel so worn out? I don't expect to come to some conclusion here, but I want to reflect on it with you. Isn't putting our own desires aside, serving God, serving our neighbor at the heart of what Jesus taught us? Precisely what Jesus freed us for?

Never Look For Justice But Never Cease To Live It

This morning, while reading the only devotional book that I can ever seem to crack the cover of without gagging, I stumbled over the author's conclusion, "Never look for justice, but never cease to live it."

I think that I must have raised my eyebrows along with a couple red flags, saying, "hold on here, pal...I'm not sure I agree with this one." Never look for justice? Never? Some of the people I most respect in the Christian community live out their faith most prevalently through seeking justice. For oppressed people in other countries, for the hungry, the sick, the war-torn, the child soldiers, the women who are mutilated or beaten, the children trafficking...and you, Mr. Devotional man, are saying never seek justice?

Though it took me a bit to see what he was saying, I think I hear a bit of the kernel he's sharing. He was looking at the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus gets up and says all sorts of crazy things--not the least of which is concerning how we should respond when we're wronged. He reflects on the famous "turn the other cheek" passage and suggests, "every time I insist upon my own rights, I hurt the Son of God; whereas I can prevent Jesus from being hurt if I take the blow myself." I don't think that he was trying to offer any sort of commentary on advocacy or the like, but rather about our individual response to those situations in our own lives. Am I trying to justify myself? Am I always looking for justice for the ways I've been misrepresented, mistreated, or injured? That is definitely what feels natural. I have a hunch that there's some wisdom here and that the way the Spirit will guide us is more towards going that second mile, giving up what you have, taking one for the team. When I try to fight it, other passages roll over me, remembering the servant in one of Jesus' parables, receiving mercy and then showing none (Matt 18), and how we are spurred on with those ancient words of the prophet Micah, to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with our God. What do you think?